tell me about .... some horror

backwoods

2010-06-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

Backwoods the movie called. gary oldman stars. can´t be so bad says me. so let´s watch it. playing in spain. and they drive to the backwoods gee never thought about that. alright they made oldman look seventies. he speaks spanish. and a weird village. so far we have every chliché of a horror movie. even if this is not a classic horror movie but some suspense. closed tight up locals and some outsiders. old formula. alright a hot chick making her self up with water in a hot day you can see her boobs. gee what´s coming next o yeah a weird local sexuall repressed looking at her wet shirt enjoying the view. oh that´s news in horror world. now she goes in this café full of dry old horny men looking at her wet shirt and boobs gosh what will come next i wonder i wonder. so predictable. if it where not gary oldman i would quit it right now. but as it is i like this guy now i stick to the end. tensions among the couples. in the woods and weird locals. these spaniards have a bad english. so far not good. bad camera work. alright the twist is the good are the bad and a village secret might not be bad at all. but it is nice to watch gary oldman acting.

zombie diaries

2010-06-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

Zombie diaries is the movie and we have another blog post. don´t liked the start soldiers make me puke and this movie starts with them. some credits and the movie is introducted. guess how the usual infection spread health virus thing for an explanation of a horror movie oh we are impressed of this great idea outbreak think we saw it on a mainstream movie already oh and a reportage want to look like a romero movie uhhh oh stop boring me with a used plot ideas please ideas oh a video camera documentary amateur style we had it with uh what was his name that danish moviemaker uhm von trier yes lars von trier made them and produced enough shit with that now amateurs follow his footstep to create worse movies ten minutes and no real story build up o boy i think i will switch soon a group of people car break down in zombie town o the electricity went off how scary this movie was introduced heart stopping guess what still thumping thump thump thump thump i heard more screaming in a porn movie screaming victims and growling villains don´t make a horror movie the tension comes from the storylne and your involvement with their destiny not by screaming and yelling and shouting and groaning and what da fuck ever alright i started this blog post let´s stick to the end yawn you need something more than a rotten body to scare me that´s enough i quit that movie and download some porn see more movement there

the deathfactory bloodletting

2010-05-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

The usual low budget horrormovie made in a reality cops tv style camera handle starts like a snuff movie with a cam self shot if you watch this i am already dead already let´s go along and see how it turns out long bearded man satan tape drug syringes baby cry eating bad food man with weird hair cut and beard shooting people around the baby this movie is a bit strange so far alright that baby is eaten by a strange zombie woman or a ghoul naked woman laying on the ground woke up she is on chains at least she has nice breasts alright the camera is not bad at all doesn´t move nervously around like usual on this dogma rip off movies a man watching her through camera´s sitting in an editing room and talking about sin of prostitiution to the woman think saw that setting before another rip off movie o boy where are your own ideas don´t you have a brain don´t make a movie if you have no own idea or you end up like that lucas george guy only making a tribute to moives all your life back to our movie the woman got ripped apart or better cut into pieces by a strange set of mechanism cut back previously on our story she is taking drugs she injects the drug into her toe now taking a shower c´mon turn the story or i will die by a strange mechanism called your movie this guy used too much light please light is the most important thing in a photo shoot as well in a movie you screw that science you screw the shoot basic rule alright some sm is always good in a horror movie some basic utility as always one dick with a big mouth and a small dick oh and don´t miss that blond woman you can´t go without one the question is will i stick to the end alright where is the horror in this horror movie nice nudes and talking about satan ain´t horrific terrific maybe of course heavy metal music alcohol and a gothic woman another cliché of course the political correct negro we would upset someone if we let some ethnic group out of a movie alright they talk about snuff are there any negro nazi´s around talking about the superiorty of the black race a black celebration think i download some porn instead this movie sucks that bitch looks like joan jett this movie is not even weird enough to pass through as a snuff horror movie just some junk playing around with a lot of cliché´s booo snorrrr please rescue me i am too lazy to grab the remote goth sm sex eating people ain´t horror just a culinary dish alright a latina negro white and a blonde alright she has nice tits maybe i should stick a while and watch that movie anyway not following that movie anymore social media went more interesting for me so good night and pleasant sleep

devil´s den

2010-04-17T17:11:00.000-07:00

Alright cute young people going into a bar but unlike the tarantino dusk till dawn movie these people turn into ghouls starve them by separating head from stomache but all the style reaks of tarantino and like tarantino it seems to be a sucker movie ...

oh and they have one man who knows how to fight and destroy them and some japanese theme well let´s see will i puke first or fall asleep because i have seen a movie like this before ....

o yes as usual they open the door and want to start a killing spree damn usually the killing spree comes to the end but this room seems to be empfty someone killed them all body parts everywhere what happened that´s a nice twist to the usual horror

kill the queen yeap the usual reference to entymology horror in the hive boooring saw that before now make a twist change the course please give me something new yeah as always the cute one looses the nerve and goes i bet he will die and get eaten as every coward in a horror flick shit i have to pee .... lucky the commercial break ... you saved me ....

a pee turned into a poo ... oh look the cute one is back and they are in the devil´s den as the title goes and there are a lot of ghouls and they look usual american style crap horror not like a rotten corps ... yeap america is really the end of the word : culture .

i worked in a hospital once and a body doesn´t look like that ... this creature ain´t dead .... and looking at mideval paintings in europe ... christian demons don´t look that way either .... so where do they get these ideas ... actually not from an educated person ....

of course the main female character has great boobs i mean great in sense of big bursting out of her cleavage o boy they are great great in terms of big and great in terms of view o boy i am horny by now .... nooo commercial break stop don´t do it ...

and this movie is political correct we have a negro a white blond one and a chinese chick anything you need to not offend anyone flat as it can be no new thoughts no new concepts possible in that environment the law flatens the world to people who look the same behave the same and dress the same another reason to abolish law

back to our movie a ghoul appeared after the blonde one and the chinese chick walked the woods and joked about squirrels and mountain lions and yes kung fu to a ghoul think that chick has her period poor ghoul i have really pitty for him killed that way by a fourious chinese chick

the chinese chick is a government assasin sent to kill the white blonde guy what a reveal a twist in the story usually in these quite moments after a ghoul kill they kiss ond make out and bang together but do not reveal they are government agents to assasin what a dialogue what a fuck go on don´t need that side story kill the ghouls kill the ghouls oh no a government conspiracy soon you will see some chemical experiments i bet it will turn out that way now they talk about governement people cheating their wifes and hiring serial killers doing their jobs pleaaase go back to the ghoul story

the ghoul head bit the blonde guy will he turn to a ghoul too hope he will that will turn the story at least they stopped talking about senator sleep overs and hooker conspiracies now it is a horror movie again oh these boobs

ohh the big boobed woman turned to the queen of the ghouls yeah the morpheus typed negro is fighting the queen of ghouls oh he is bitten by the ghoul

o what a dialogue hitler thought he was a good guy what a wisdom bang commercial break alright a showdown between the chinese chick and the tarantino style ghoul booooring

the chinese chick is a vampire now that movie turns weird by the minute now the cute blonde has the sword oh i mean dick and the chinese chick turned to a ghoul too oh and with words the cute blonde turned the ghoul chinese into a normal person again now it is weird now the queen is headless the dick uuhh i mean the sword is in the chinese hand oh now they have a six month later thing ... he misses his shot and makes a damn squirrels joke referring to the previous squirrel mountain lion joke they had ... o boy ... he killed a squirrel with a rpg yawwwwnnnnnn .... and the END

Zombie Town

2010-04-12T18:50:00.000-07:00

alright some guys are in the woods eaten by zombies. a young scientist in the woods. a successless car mechanic. all is playing in hick town. let´s see ...

now a local sherriff investigating. o yes grizzly bears ate those people ... and now they see a man eating people flesh ...

o yeah the cute looser and the scientist let´s see who will date who at the end and survive the whole event hmmmm....

oh nooo zombies explained by bio thech noooo pleaaase don´t do it .... not another one ... you really don´t need that ....

alright the sheriff sat on the toilet seat one of the worms crawled up to his butt now he is a zombie too ... that movie goes wrrrrong ....

alright alright some gore images a worm like creature crawling out of the sherrifs body no it is the prisinor ...

i see it coming a home for elderly people actually a sanctuary for old people to park before they die ... horror worms and zombies yep you say it horror grannies ...

shoot her brain out idiot you can´t kill a zombie by hitting her body haven´t you learned it by now shoot her head shoot her head go granny ... evil zombie you ...

what sherrif zombie dies by eating ice cubicles ....

o yeah teenagers partying and zombies in town .... at least i see some boobs and sex ... now she get´s eaten ... i saw it coming ...

here we go the usual hunt the zombies shooting spree begun that´s a novelty ...

of course a chain saw to hunt zombies yep cutting off the leg alright now he has to shoot his father bang done and no remorse because he was dead already and you fight evil that way shoot your dead in the head c´mon shoot your friend he is bitten he will be a zombie soon look he is feeling cold and he is pale aready o look the zombie neighbor is coming bang zombies in the outside and your friend turned zombie in your car of course shoot him o boy now the zombie town is coming

alright all zombies die after getting hit by fresh water now they dessolve in soap water bubble bubble bubble ...

as i said two survive the cute female scientist and the cute looser mechanic

introduction

2010-04-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

zone horror is my latest blog. it all began with me commenting horror movies real time on twitter. here in europe we receive a british tv channel once called zone horror and now horror channel. actually after fashion tv and cnn the only tv channel i watch 24/7 ... where was i ... o yes ... me watching zone horror i decided to create a blog doing right that writing blog post watching real time movie. not a post watching academic comment on a movie but what does this movie do to me right now watching it ... as you can imagine it is subjective it is personal and it is weird ... go along ......